A lengthy beginning...

I painted yesterday... it felt good and the time passes so very quickly. I painted over so many things... my canvas is monotone. I have to liven this girl up and decide what should go in that void. It's pretty true-to-life- whatever will I end up filling the voids with?

Inspiring words that have been hastily scribbled into my journal in the past few weeks-

Find, cherish, nurture that pearl within

Be still... savor these moments

Seeking the Self I have always wanted to be~

May love fall upon you as golden showers...

 She's being swept away by whatever is coming, being nourished by golden showers of love and a hopeful destiny, and cherishing the most precious parts of herself to build strength from and carry her through.

It's somewhat intimidating... I want to give her lower shape more definition. She needs a face... something more suggestive of one, at the very least. Her arms need to be built up to be more soft and natural. I cut plaid ribbon I'd bought for an apron, cut it in half, lengthwise, and swished over it with an iridescent gold. I used, as I did as a child, things from around the house- white pipe cleaners from the craft supplies I keep for our children and a faux pearl from a broken costume-jewelry necklace that they broke last week. It all looks so clumsy to me now. I want this woman to appear as though she's ready to come right off the canvas and fulfill the destiny that's meant for *her.* And that space to the right seems SO LARGE. It's not a terribly big canvas... 16x20... but I've only half filled it.

Last night, I was wishing that I'd started on a smaller canvas... but at the moment, I'm a big believer in Things Happening For a Reason. Something special is meant to go there- I just haven't discovered it yet. I'm *meant* to discover it.

I did discover that my drawing skills need work. A lot of work... I need to be more economizing in strokes and not contrive the lines I THINK should be there but let the shading spread on its own, to form the shapes and shadows. I went to Barnes and Noble to get the book I'd heard so much about from an old friend... The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron. I also happened upon a book about sketching- talk about economy of lines. Sensational learning tool- I'll be referring to it often, I'm sure. Our 6 year-old daughter, who loves to draw, is also in love with it. I think her princesses will soon be presented with shading. lol

While sketching in bed last night, with my husband catching up on all the college games yesterday (Go Orangemen!!), I realized that letting my eyes go out of focus and glaze over produced the best results. It was accidental, at first... I wake up between 5 and 6am everyday and it was midnight, I'd gone to the bookstore for a few hours, then a friend's comedy show. I was tired and could hardly keep my eyes open enough to sketch but the excitement of wanting to try my hand at drawing again was enough to keep me conscious. ;)

Those eyes became her face, which turned on me once I added the too-strong lines of my glasses. Our daughter instantly recognized this woman as me and asked where my glasses were. I need to work on that... or maybe spectacles just weren't meant to capture the soul of one's being? I want this woman to be in paint- the woman who is safe in her every day life, as a mother and wife, but wants to find ways to open her depths and run for her dreams... this is me. She needs to wander from the safety of her fence, gladly recognizes her dreams but doesn't yet have the courage to RUN towards them, but is at least waiting for that courage to come... to leap and be overwhelmed.

Sketchings of a few figures before I decide to paint them. Yes- my women have a heavy bosom, like me. They have a solid, cushioning body, like me. They have broad shoulders and muscular but feminine arms, like me. The more I draw them, the more free I feel... recognizing what I have perceived as my physical flaws and embracing them for the strength they've given me.

I call yesterday... successful!